When I encounter people who knew me when I was working, they often ask “how is retirement?” This happens a lot, as I still work two days a month.
On one of those working days, I see people who are still working who knew me when I was full-time. Invariably, they ask me about my retirement.
The first thing I say is It is Better to Be Retired than Not Retired . After that I encourage them to consider it for themselves. They all demur. They all seem a little terrified of the idea.
I see myself in them of course. I would have never considered it possible for me when I was much younger than I am now. My mind asks me: Why?
Why was it inconceivable?
What was it that, for me, made not working so beyond the realm of emotional and psychological possibility? As I touched on in that post It is Better to Be Retired than Not Retired, I am a child of the “You Need A Job To Survive” school of thinking. And yet…
And yet, I had changed so much of my life over the years that I wonder why I could not or would not investigate and be willing to change my attitude about working? I had changed professions more than once, I had geographically changed by moving across the country, I never wanted to marry until the time I met the right partner, and so many other things.
But the expectation of the need for work was evidently so strong as never be on the table for investigation or possible change. Perhaps I did not encounter others who were strongly committed to an early “not working” career.
What I do know is that I used to strongly identify with my job. There was a time I thought my life revolved around a job. That a job was the reason to get up in the morning. That a job was the reason to have an identity. That without a job I was nothing. I never worked in the auto industry, but my feeling was that without a job, I was close to ‘What Am I as a Man?’
Separation
Somewhere along the way, I was able to separate my self from my work. Not that I reduced my comittment to my work, nor did I put less of dedication to my work, but I came to see my job and my work as things in my life, not as my life. It took perseverance and dedication to watching, questioning, and investigating my life, but eventually it paid off. I cannot say it was hard or it was easy.
It was scary at the beginning to be constantly in “questioning mode” about myself, but after a while I realized that questioning and thinking about my thinking did not diminish me, did not divert me, did not hinder my behavior or my actions. Eventually I realized it enhanced my ability to see and understand not only my self but things in the world around me. Panic is overrated.
It also opened me up to other activities. No longer did I think that some other activity might distract me from my work. That I could be a social person, with a hobby or two or more, and not have any of those things hinder my ability to do my job. It made me a better person.
Looming retirement
I guess I was prepared enough. When I decided that I could retire, it was a momentous moment in my life. I had enough detachment from the idea that I needed to work to prove something about myself.
That is why, in my view, having goals and aspirations and hobbies are all vital for a retiree. As I have previously mentioned, “there is nothing more depressing than a bored retiree.”
One could say a little more. A retiree with no goals or hobbies is in danger, psychologically, emotionally, and health-wise. Get busy, keep busy. Not only will you be happier, you will be better.
What about you? If not retired, do you have fear of retirement? If retired, how did you experience fear of retirement? Comment here.
The map of Australia is from a 1911 encyclopedia. The illustration of the Tomb of Alexander Hamilton is from “Nooks and Corners of Old New York” by Charles Hemstreet, published by Charles Scribner’s Sons in 1905. Alexander Hamilton is buried at Trinity Church in New York City. Courtesy New York Public Library.
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