Human desire is endless. Can it be tamed? Is it possible to lessen or temper the human tendency to want more? Is it even possible to consider?
Recall the “One Now or Two Later” test, also known as the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. Children were offered a cookie or a marshmallow. They could eat one now or wait 15 minutes and have two. Some could wait, some could not, some waited the 15 minutes in agony. More details here and here.
Can the desire for more, more money, more fame, more things, … ever be tamed?
Why do we always seem to want more? Something bigger, flashier, more popular, more expensive, etc?
It seems that humans are born with this insatiable desire for more. And of course in a capitalist society, there are endless companies and organizations willing to seemingly “help” you fulfill all of your human desires, all for a price.
A True Story
To illustrate this point, here is a scene I witnessed a few years ago in a large retail establishment. I had ordered an item on-line, and went to the service desk to pick it up. While I waited, another transaction was progress at an adjacent cashier. A young man was attempting to purchase several large ticket items. He was holding several credit cards. “Put $300 on this one, put $200 on this one,…” and so on. He was attempting to purchase a large dollar amount of items by loading up debt on several credit cards.
Now, I find credit cards useful, and I use them. However, I also know they can be disastrously dangerous.
Not knowing the specifics of the young man at the other cashier, I can only surmise that he had evidently gotten close to his limit on several of his cards, so only by parcelling out his bill onto several cards would he be able to purchase what he wanted. It seemed to me a clear case of being over one’s head financially.
Would I judge that young man for his situation? Should I? I doubt it would be helpful. But what I can take away from that scene is that not all people find themselves in comfortable financial situations. Some need to run to stay in one place. It is too easy for everyone else, which includes me, to judge and scrutinize.
Want What You Have
There are endless quotes and aphorisms to choose from, but one I have found helpful is: “Happiness is wanting what you have.” Because seeking for happiness outside of oneself is doomed to fail.
What We Understand
It is true that in normal life, desire will never end. “Desire Hath No End” is said to be quoted from St. Augustine. So the question arises, is there a way to tame desire?
My Opinion
In my view, it is possible to attenuate many aspects of the desire for “more.” How much is dependent on each person to the extent they relinquish or manage control of their emotions. Namely, we desire more because we want to care about the “more.” If “more” was not important to us, then we wouldn’t need to chase after it.
Much of the desire for more is based on our comparisons to others. We want to have the best, the biggest, the flashiest, the nicest objects when we compare ourselves to others. So letting go of the comparisons and letting to of the caring of what we think about what others think is the key.
If I no longer need to compare myself with others in order to find happiness within, then I do not need to acquire more than what I need to live. To live without caring about the criticisms and comparisons that normally occupy my brain is an enormous relief. At least to the extent I am able to do so.
How do you handle desire? Has is affected your ability to manage money satisfactorily? Comment here.
The photograph was taken on the grounds of the Summer Palace in Beijing was taken in 1927 and published in a volume “Beijing The Beautiful” by the Commercial Press. Courtesy the New York Public Library.
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